peace

Its extraordinary how peaceful it is before anyone else gets up.
I had a massively productive day on Friday and now feel able to relax and enjoy myself.

Its a real shame I can't be motivated to go back to the gym just yet.
Maybe will go today.
I always feel much brighter and full of energy after a session on the treadmill and even the weights, but it's getting there! The foot in the door bit is hardest!

Sunny and smiley today.

Its so nice when you focus on the good stuff that everything seems better.
Sounds stupidly obvious, so why didn't I think of this before?
Happiness is all over the place, I just been looking in the other bleedin' direction!
For example:
last night met old friend for drink in the pub and it was great fun!
The best bit was talking with my boyf and enjoying his company
(he has been there all the time!)
Today, BBQ with best friend at her place when she loves to play host and spoil us all. The food is boud to be great and wine flowing.
Then Monday night, Diva extraodinaire Miss Whitney Houston at the O2, a venue in London that is amazin'
See? (I talk to myself now)
All good...

on reflection

Whilst I cannot and should not say what has happened at work, I am able to describe the effect (affect?) it has had on me.
I feel like I have been shot in the back of the head.
Come to a standstill and realise there is blood leaking from somewhere but I can't find the wound.

I exaggerate?
perhaps.
I have been bought up sort by my own arrogance (overconfidence?)
Also, I am aware that the team I work with are absolutely without question "out to get me".
I need to remain focused but the stress is tangible when you feel you have to be "beyond reproach" as a leader.
Is it worth it? is my job worth the stress? probably, yes.
At the moment it's just a probably.

I am challenging myself with some extra work in a different environment which will either give me a boost and take me back to my personal values and beliefs or will make me think, oh-oh I need a new career!!!
We watch and wait and see..

mistakes and misapprehensions

have realised I need to be confidential about work stuff but cannot work out how to delete previous.

Anyway

My personal feelings are just that.
The previous post talked about being accused of something by my team.
Good news is that it came to nothing!!

yay

tough week

This has been a rough one.
Found out on Thurs pm that 3 team members have complained about me.
Three people who are incapable of doing their job.
I find this complaint disrespectful in the way it was done and definately is bullying towards me.
They are trying to get rid of me and I won't allow it.
I am not being allowed to do my job, because i was about to start performance managing one woman and now that has to go on hold until we sort this out.
very unfair
I strongly suspect there is no evidence.
Needless to say I am NOT happy.
I keep thinking and thinking about conversations in the future I cannot control.
Monday I will find out exactly what these allegations are.
Then I can plan and discuss with my boss (who will be fuming by the way).

Need to relax and enjoy my weekend..........

food glorious food

I love pancakes. Had to delay pancake day in our house due to Uni visit so had a tossing time tonight instead. The boyf and I stood in kitchen . I ate, he tossed after pouring and cooking.

hello and welcome

to me.
This is the first of many blogs to help me procrastinate my way through life. Need something to help me clear all the debris in my brain. and this. is it.